lipstick cant fix this
by MakatoMai
Summary: gotta play the part, act like it aint killin me.


lipstick cant fix this  
summary: gotta play the part, without it killing me.

* * *

Boy meets girl.

Yeah, like its ever _that _easy.

.

The first time Beck Oliver sees Jade West is outside a bowling alley.

He's inside bowling with his some of his friends celebrating his acceptance into the infamous Hollywood arts. He kisses his blonde headed girlfriend smack on the lips and makes all sorts of promises he has every intention to keep. But than he goes outside to get some air, to breathe in the night, cease the moment.

He didn't know what awaited him.

He sees her pressed against the brick wall, back arched, eyes closed- goosebumps scattering pale flesh, head in hands.

"Hey, are you alright?"

The brown headed girl snaps her head, anger blaring in big brown eyes. Her cheek is an ugly shade of green and purple that he knows shouldn't be there. He kneels down, unsure of what to do, so his brown eyes meet hers, and he waits for her to say something.

"Do I look alright to you?" She snaps, her lips turning up into a snarl.

"No." He says grappling for words. "Not really."

She rises to a stand, shoving unpainted nails into jean pockets. She tosses him a look over her shoulder.

"This never happened."

And than she's gone in a blur of black clothes, deep bruises, and mascara tears.

.

He doesn't know why this was happening- why spending five minutes with some busted up girl in an alley way has caused this much grief.

He carries dark circles under his eyes.

.

Beck sees her exactly two weeks later in the auditorium of Hollywood Arts. Her hair is thrown back in a messy pony tail- eyes painted thick with mascara. She clenches a script in her hand as she belts out a heart-wenching scream for her dead father. She nails the role, and he's far from surprised.

Her combat boots scuff the stage as she stomps down the steps, she's wearing a satisfied smirk, hands rummaging through her black messenger bag. He takes one step to the left, just to get in her way- just to make her see him as clearly as he's seen her.

She bumps into him- her bag and its contents spilling to the floor.

"Damn it." She grumbles kneeling down to collect her belongings, as he crouches down beside her. "Watch where the hell your-"

She doesn't finish as her eyes meet his, hands coiled around a notebook and a tube of lipstick. He watches as her face looses its anger- just a bit.

"Alley- girl." He says and he smiles because he cant see the bruise anymore, and hes not sure if its because its faded or if its because she's piled so much foundation on it- its invisible.

"I don't know you." she says through gritted teeth.

"But you want too?" Beck says a laugh in his voice as he hands her a red pen and bottle of black nail polish.

"You wish." she spits snatching the items from his hand and slamming them down into her bag. Her eyes skim across the floor as do his checking for possible forgotten items. Their eyes find it at exactly the same time and he can visible see the terror flash across her face as she slams her palm over top of the tiny razor in the middle of the auditorium floor.

"I think you do now." He says, and he's surprised that he's threatening her as he prys the silver metal piece out of her hand.

"What do you want?" She's whispering now- and people are now starting to look at them- two crouched teenagers on the floor picking up items for a bit to long.

"A date." and he's forgotten he's taken.

"No." She says crossing her arms over her chest, openly defiant.

He leans forward his breath tickling her ear "I don't think you have a choice." and he slides the razor into his pocket and out of the auditorium.

.

"So whats your name?"

"None of your fucking business."

"You know if you don't tell me someone else will."

"…."

.

He figures out her name during Sikowitz- the acting teacher's class, during introductions.

"Your name and one of your ambitions!" Sikowitz yells vigorously pacing around the room.

He watches as each student introduces themselves: Brittany, David, Lucas, Kendra, Andre, Sinjin, Cat, Robbie, Rex, Jessica, and finally….

"Jade. Jade West."

"And your ambition Jade?" Sikowitz pipes.

"To be somebody." Its so quiet, Beck almost didn't catch it- but Sikowitz rather he heard it or not bounds a long.

"And you?" he muses pointing a long finger towards Beck.

"Beck. Beck Oliver. My ambition is to an actor."

"Very good, lets continue…"

Jade West glares at Beck as soon as Sikowitz's back is turned, like a warning- just because you know my name doesn't mean you know me.

But Beck already knows that.

.

He's sitting at his desk in his bedroom while his parents bustle around the kitchen.

"We need a great dinner for a great first day at school!"

"Oh, our little boy's going to be somebody!"

He flips his phone open once, than twice- his eyes shifting to the razorblade on the corner of his desk.

He punches in his beautiful blonde girlfriend, Ashley's number.

"Hey babe…we need to talk."

.

Jade pulls on her sweatshirt as she waits for Beck to come back with their coffee, she wonders briefly if he can tell she's paranoid. But as he sits down across from her, 1000 watt grin on his face- she seriously doubts it.

"So, you mind telling me why you had a razorblade in your bag?"

"You mind telling me why you're all up in my business?"

He laughs before running a finger through black locks.

"God, I wish I knew." He says brown eyes staring into hers. "…do you believe in fate Jade?"

She doesn't say anything but grips her coffee between two hands and takes a sip.

"I don't believe in much."

.

"I think we should go out."

"I think you should get lost."

"Well that's not very friendly."

"I have a boyfriend."

.

"Why do you like Jade?"

Beck stares down to the kid in front of him, crazy curly hair and thin wired glasses- a floral shirt clinging to his tiny frame.

_you've got to be kidding me._

"…is that any of your business?" Beck says- what was this kids name again-? "Look Sinjin right? I think it's awesome that you're concerned about Jade or whatever but…"

The weird kid doesn't stay around to listen, he just turns on his foot and leaves.

.

"So that Sinjin kid is your boyfriend?"

"….I think Im going to punch you."

"What? He came up to me today and was all like. "why do you like Jade?" yadda yadda"

"Sinjin's a dork."

.

He's outside the entrance of Hollywood Arts, the rain sliding down and off of the roof of the building.

"If he's not here in 10 minutes, you know you have to have another coffee date with me." Beck says a grin on his face. He cant help it- being around Jade sort of lights him up. Its like he's a light bulb and she's the electricity, the current, the…

"There he is." Jade says smugly, no triumph in her voice or smirk upon her face. He watches the motorcycle skid to a stop a few feet away from them.

"Jade, get over here! I'm getting fuckin soaked!"

"Yeah, yeah." Jade called over a shoulder. "Later."

Beck's not sure what comes over him, but as she walks out into the rain- hair instantly wet and clinging to her porcelain neck- mascara tears staining her face leaving her looking broken and fragile- he grabs her arm pressing black material against pale skin.

"Don't go with him." His voice is urgent and he's not sure what hes doing. "It's raining its not safe."

He really means to say you deserve better.

A smile skimps her features for a second, small and almost unnoticed but there.

"Thank you." she mouths before slipping free of his grasp and climbing onto the motorcycle.

He's not sure why- but he feels like his hearts kind of broken.

.

"How's our champ?" Dad greets.

"Have a good day at school honey?"

He really doesn't have the energy to be a perfect son,star,p e r s o n right now.

.

He comes into school in a red and black flannel shirt and finds a seat in Sikowitz's class on the other side of the room- as far away from Jade as humanly possible.

She confronts him in the hall- brown eyes glaring, hands poised on her hips.

"So your avoiding me now?"

"Well, arent you Captain Obvious." his voice sounds more exhausted than sarcastic.

She stares at him a moment, brown eyes softening- "What's wrong?" she whispers like she doesn't want the world to hear she's capable of compassion- her hand gently grasping his forearm. He flinches.

He walks past her and doesn't look back.

.

"You're Beck right?" a frantic painfully bright redhead bounces in front of him. "You've got to come with me right now!"

"Slow down" Beck says running a hand through his black hair. "Where are we going? And why do I have to go there?"

"I think Jades in trouble! See we were eating outside and I was telling her about how my brother ate one of my pink shoe strings the other day and that we had to…"

"Cat!" Beck said hand touching her lightly on the shoulder. "Whys Jade in trouble?"

"Oh right. Well, this guy started walking towards us and he was screaming her name. and she told me to run before he sees me and she'll take care of it and just to keep my mouth shut but…"

"Thanks Cat, that's all I need, don't worry Ill take care of it."

.

We have two instincts. Fight or Flight.

Beck didn't think he was a confrontational person. He always considered himself pretty passive to people aggression and sarcasm. But the moment he walked out the glass double doors of Holly wood arts and rounded the corner to see this _thud _with his hand bearing down on Jades collarbone, his other hand forcing her to face him.

The world seemed to stop for a moment- as he enclosed the space between them. He couldn't hear anything other the blood pounding in his ears- but he could see the way Jade's lips moved- and they called his name.

It wasn't like the movies he realized, when he touched the guys shoulder and he punched him- the way the guys blood splattered across the pavement, the way his head jerked- it wasn't fatal and it only lasted a moment before the same pain contacted his jaw. The movies don't tell you how hard your heart pumps, it doesn't convey the anger and the ache from the inside outside. In the movies, everything's over-exaggerated, but Beck didn't have to be an actor to know how to fight.

He had a beautiful dark haired angel screaming at him. Jade's boyfriend managed to get Beck to the ground, each blow turning his head in a different direction. That's when he saw Jade- in between moments of darkness- her combat boot colliding with his attackers side.

"What the fuck do you think your doing?" She screams as he rolls of Beck- he collects himself in a matter of seconds his hand slapping her hard across the face.

"Your lucky I don't kill you! Do you think some punk like him was going to be able to stop me? Seriously Jade!"

Beck stared up to him, anger resignation in his eyes.

"Come down here and say it to my face. Tell me I cant stop you."

And this is where pride kills you- Beck notes as he crouches down in front of him.

"I don't know why you want a piece of trash like her anyway. But there's nothing you can do about-"

Instinct. Beck watches as the blood spurts out from his neck as the guy before him grips at the razor with shaky hands.

"You little…shit."

Beck just smiles and rises s l o w l y to a stand. His body hurts. And Jade looks scared- with dark bruises forming along her face and throat.

He doesn't have anything to say, and he's still kind of mad at her. So he walks away.

.

"Jesus Christ Beck! What were you thinking!"

"You could be expelled!"

"All that work for nothing!"

Beck Oliver is so tired of trying to be perfect.

"It's been a long day, Im going to bed."

"Where do you think your going?"

"This isn't over Beck!"

.

She calls him- three times before she actually has the nerv to stay on the phone.

"Beck?"

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to…you know…thank you. I guess."

"Yeah."

"It's not like I asked for your help or anything. I could of handled it."

"Yeah."

"My dad took care of all the uhm….paperwork stuff. Your not going to get expelled, or arrested, or anything like that."

"That's good."

"Yeah…Beck?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry." and her voice is so genuine, soft and sincere- his anger melts away.

"It's okay." He exhales running a finger through his hair. "So, since your now single…."

She laughs and he thinks it's the most beautiful thing he thinks hes ever heard.

"Fine. One date. But your buying. And I swear to god, you better not take me to see a chick flick."

He smiles as he listens to the dial tone ringing in his ear.

.

They end up dating- which really ends up only being a surprise to everyone else.

.

"Hey Beck." says dad.

"We've been waiting to talk to you honey." says mom.

"What's up?" Beck says smoothly eyeing his parents as he sets his bag down.

"Nothings wrong honey." says mom

"We've just noticed you've been more upbeat than usual lately." says dad

"We just wondered what's got you so…"says mom.

"so happy?" Beck offers, a smile growing across his features. "because I have the most amazing girlfriend ever."

"oh, I thought you broke up with Ashley." dad says.

"I did." Beck says calmly- the happy breaking slipping farther and farther away. "Her names Jade."

"Jade huh?" dad says.

"Cant wait to meet her." says mom

Beck digs into his pocket and grips the razorblade just a little bit to tightly, he can feel blood coursing between his fingers and around the silver piece of metal.

"Im sure she cant wait to meet you either." Beck says through gritted teeth.

Jade might have been on the right track with this razor thing.

.

Becks not sure what he did- but she's pissed, standing there- hair down curling around her face.

"You didn't answer your phone last night. I call 7 times. Who were you with?" She crosses her arms across her chest, protecting herself.

He sighs. It's not like he can say _I spent last night with your razor- no problems right?_

"I'm sorry babe, I went to bed early." his lips brush across her cheek and he can feel the anger wash right off of her. He loved that he could affect her like that- tame the beast the same way she ignited him. It was beautiful. "Lets get to class."

He shuts his locker and takes the lead, pausing when he notices she's not following.

"You coming?"

She doesn't budge just looks at him- right through him. "Remember you asked me if I believed in fate?"

"Yeah." Beck says raising an eyebrow.

"I believe in you." Jade said eyes locking with his in complete serious, before walking past him into Sikowitz's class.

Guilt initiated.

.

Jade watches him through out Sikowitz.

She's a lot of things, but naïve isn't one of them. She knows what lays beneath the pattern of his longsleeved flannel shirt. She knows the signs- the way he flinches just beneath her fingertips, when someone brushes against him in the hall. She notices the way when he writes he nonchalantly looks down at his hands to make sure his wrists aren't revealed.

She just wishes he had the balls to tell her, to tell her he was in pain too.

She stands up in the middle of class, "I gotta take a waz." and leaves the room just like that.

Beck watches skeptically as the door swings shut behind her.

.

After 15 minutes Sikowitz sends Cat to check on Jade and see if she's really in the bathroom. Its less than a minute after that Cats blood curling scream echoes around the building.

Beck is the first one out of his seat and racing down the hall where he finds the girls bathroom door propped open and Cat backed against the door jam- body trembling, tears running down her face like a faucet. His eyes follow to the sink where Jade has her forearm propped up, layers of blood running down her pale white skin- the worlds LIAR scrawled across her forearm.

She opens her eyes, her head leaning against her injured arm- a small smirk brimming across her features at the look of fear scribbled on Beck's face.

_Scare-dy Cat._

Beck takes a step out of the bathroom, than another, than he's running out of the bathroom. Away from the pain. Away from the fear. Away from Jade.

.

He visits her in the hospital, and rolls up his sleeves.

"Im sorry." He says.

"I know." She says, a smirk firmly in place across her features.

"I love you." He says quietly like its some dangerous unspoken thing.

"Good." She says quietly.

.

Jade meets Becks parents 48 hours after she's released from the hospital. Her parents aren't happy about it- but they don't do anything to stop her. They never do anything to stop her.

"It's nice to meet you." Becks dad says.

Jade watches Beck's mom try to pick her jaw up off the floor. She probably wasn't expecting her son to be someone who was…dark, damaged. Someone who didn't have pom-poms in their hand.

"You too." She tries to slap on a smile- and she hopes it looks good as Becks ever present one. It's the first time she doubts her acting abilities.

.

"She's not good enough for you."

"How'd she even get into that school to begin with?"

"I guess it doesn't matter- they're only in high school anyway."

"cant last."

Beck calls Jade and she picks up on the first ring.

"Im sorry." he says.

"I forgive you." she whispers.

She stays on the phone while he carves into his skin.

.

Beck smiles as Jade's father opens the door- he's dressed in a suit and looks very not like the father he would expect coming from his girlfriend.

"Nice to meet you." Beck says extending a hand.

Jades father stares at it distastefully and walks past him in one swift movement.

"Jade's in the living room." He says opening the car door. "Do me a favor and don't get her knocked up, I have enough to deal with, with her, without any help from you."

He sits beside her on the couch and her heads in her hands as it was the night of the bowling alley.

"Do you know what its like-" She says softly. "To have your parents hate you?"

_to never be good enough._

"No." He says softly. "But…I know what its like to hate them."

_to never be yourself _

She leans into him and kisses him as hard and as long as she can.

"I love you."

It's the first time he's heard her say it.

"I love you too."

.

"Hey Jade, Beck - you guys want to come over to Andres and play twister with everybody?"

He looks to her. She looks to him.

"Yeah. We'll meet you there."

.

"When did you know you were in love with me?" Jade questions from the back of his truck after a very heated make out session.

He runs a few fingers through her hair, pondering the question.

"The bowling alley." he whispers quietly.

"Whys that?" Jade says looking up at him and raising an eyebrow.

"Ive never lost sleep over anything before."

She laughs them, nudging him in the ribs. "You're a dumb ass."

"Your dumb ass." he corrects, tickling her into oblivion.

.

The day Beck meets Tori Vega is the day he is reminded what its like to feel jealousy.

He kissed Tori in a way to punish Jade for going to far. He understood everything about her- everything about the red lines that use to paint and dance around their skin. He knows why she's callous and how its not to anyone in specific. He over looks the fact that theres a reason why Jade was harder on Tori- that there was more malice then usual in her actions.

Jealousy was an awful mistress.

He watches as his friend Jack from his auto-body shop class pushes her against _his _locker- his mouth parting Jade's in a thick kind of heat that only _he's _suppose to.

"What the fucking hell?" His instincts were kicking in- and they most certainly weren't saying flight.

Jack pulled off instantly, hands up in the air in mock surrender. "Woah Beck! It's not what it looks like."

Another threatening step forward.

"It looks like you're kissing _my_ girl."

Jade's smirk is clear as day as she walks between the two.

"Don't like it do you Beck?"

She's such a gank. But god does he love her.

.

"I just want him to tell me." Jade whispers one night in bed with him, cuddled up to his chest.

"You want who to tell you what?" Beck says half asleep rubbing his eyes in a desperate attempt to wake up.

"My dad." Jade said softly. "I just once wish hed tell me he loved me. That…he believes in me you know. Never mind. Its stupid."

Beck wishes he would too. He kisses her on the top of her forehead and as she drifts to sleep- he whispers. "I believe in you."

.

"So, three and a half years later your still with her." says dad.

"we think its time you start thinking about your future." says mom.

Beck smiles wide much to his parents disapproval, patting the jewelry box in his pocket.

"I already have."

.

"Where'd you two get your scars?" Tori asks one day at lunch. "you both have them all over your forearms."

Cat hums quietly twirling a piece of red around her finger- its said when something horrific happens to a person they block it out. The simplest answer was that what happened with Cat seeing the strongest girl she knew a completely bloody mess was simply to much to handle.

"Car accident." Beck says simply sliding his fingers through Jades.

.

Sinjin stares towards Beck and approaches him as Jade and the rest of the gang dissapear.

"Why?" he says simply. "Why do you like Jade?"

Beck runs a finger through his hair- and instead of brushing the weird kid who has a crush on his girlfriend off- he answers.

"Because she makes me feel something. Something real."

"Ok." Sinjin says turning on his foot, ready to flee the area.

"Why do you like Jade?"

He pauses mid-step before turning around to face Beck.

"She hides behind makeup like I hide behind equipment." Sinjin says biting his lip. "I guess I just get it."

_So, even Sinjin noticed to back than. _

"Thank you."

Sinjin shrugged giving one last look over his shoulder before disappearing into a crowd of students.

.

He kisses her hard on the mouth, his hands on her hips, tongue down her throat.

"Beck" she mumbles between kisses.

"Marry me." He pants against her neck, his fingers on the button of her jeans. "I cant live without you." He says brown eyes meeting hers. "I want to be with you, every second of every hour, of everyday."

She stares to him a thick heavy passionate silence rising between them.

"Yes." she whispers wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling her hips to meet his. "til death do us part."

"Longer." Beck pants as he manages to slide down their jeans and into her body.

.

Boy meets girl (outside a bowling alley.)

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Get lost."

He does.

Maybe it is that simple.

.


End file.
